I’ve Got Some Beef

…with Dragon Ball Z Kai. Ok, so I’m sitting on my bed getting ready to go to the store, and Dragon Ball Z Kai comes ok. I figure “Hey, why not have a childhood flashback”? So I’m watching, and the opening credits come across. First thing I think: “wow, this is a semi-way-too-upbeat  song”. I get it, they’re trying to show the courage of the fighters, never give up, and all that good stuff. But geez, through all the people dying in that series, it should be some other kind of tempo. And maybe this is some kind of plot fall in the song, but they literally state “We never die” in the lyrics, and it’s true. Anybody who was ever a good guy, or main character never died in that series. You’re probably thinking “Thats not true, Goku dies like a million times”. Exactly. It’s not much of a death when they keep coming back. It’s more of a “set-back” and the person who died wil just come back stronger and merk people. Oh, well, unless you’re like, Tien or Yamcha. Then you die, and no one worries, you weren’t doing much but taking up space anyway. But if Goku, or Crillin, or someone of..oh I don’t know, importance, dies, then it’s a quest for the Dragon Balls so Shenron can brink you back, because clearly they team can’t function without you. Ok, so in the episode that came on, the narrarator was leading us into how Frieza was a douche, killed Goku’s father, and single-fingeredly (yes, literally with one finger) destroyed Planet Vageta, Goku’s home planet, along with a crap ton of his own henchmen. Oh, and guess, what, we could understand everything, because all those aliens happened to speak english. Yup, even though Earth alone has multiple languages, the main one spoken throughout the galaxy (and probably the universe) is english. But wait, if you’ve ever seen them looking through their energy readers while looking at an opponent, you’ve seen that it is displayed in some weird alien text. So apparently, the triangles and half-squares and other random shapes on those readers translates to numbers, and it can point you in the direction of the source of energy itself. Pretty neat. Ok, so here’s something that REALLY stuck out to me after I thought about it. Energy. We know that, by law of conservation of energy, it cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be changed. That’s what Alchemy is about right? (if you’ve seen full metal alchemist, you’re familiar with alchemy) As far as I know, the base rule in Alchemy is that something can be exchanged for something of equal or lesser value, or something along those lines. Kind of like returning something to GameStop and only getting “store credit”. So, in DBZ, these people can harness unbelievable amounts of energy, and project them as weapons. My question: where is this energy coming from? Don’t give me some lame half-crap answer like “inside them”, because if that was the case, everytime they died, the energy would just explode and everyone around them would get it. Kind of like being a “grenadier” on the first Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. They must be getting the energy from somewhere. Throughout the episodes, this was never explained. Oh wait, one time it was, for one specific attack. The Spirit Bomb. The Spirit Bomb is created by “asking the plants and other small woodland creatures” to “lend you their energy”. That’s understandable…somehow. Unless they’re ripping some vortex open and stealing from some source of vast amounts of energy, I don’t see where it could be coming from. And just for giggles, imagine this was the case, and the energy was alive. Imagine, if you will, a ball of energy, that is a husband, a father, and has a family to provide for, and as he is on his way home, a frickin space-time vortex rips open the sky above his head and he is sucked through, only to wind up in a strange land, in some aliens hands. As his fear grows with his size, he is then launched at someone, screaming as he flies towards this person he’s never seen before, and blacks out just before the inevitable impact. As for his family, all they can do is mourn the disappearance and assumed death of Greg Sullivan Kamehameha.

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