Opening Up… Or Not.

To say “I’m ok” right now would be a blatant lie. Unfortunately, I’ve lied a lot lately.
But I never could completely open up to people. Friends, family, lovers, I never knew how to properly express how I felt, so I never did. I’d mention some of what’s on my mind. Try to give a little insight, but I never knew how to let it all out. I don’t know why either.

Maybe I don’t want to be judged, maybe I’m afraid to let it all on the table, but I’ve always simply told myself I’d never be able to properly get my view across, so don’t try. I’d like to, but even having both sides of the conversation in my head, nothing makes sense. So if I can’t explain to myself how I feel, how could I possibly try to let someone else know? I would never want my views misconstrued in translation, because I don’t want the wrong points to come across.

It’s not to say I don’t trust those around me. I do. I just don’t trust myself.

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The Worst Part About The World? It never stops turning.

That’s all there is to it. It stops for no one. And that’s how peoples lives operate also. Someone can suffer a terrible heartbreak, a great loss, or even a terrible physical ailment, but that won’t stop others from moving on with their lives. Time is always against us. We’re forced to continue with our lives, even when we feel there’s no longer a reason to do it. Even when we feel as though we can’t move, when the weight on our shoulders has us in a corner with seemingly no where to escape before the pressure crushes our bones. We live, we love, we die, and life goes on.